The Next Hollywood Hottie: Monster Edition
by Laura Mooney, Arts Editor
Vampires, zombies, and werewolves! Oh my! Years ago, these fearsome beasts were the cause of nightmares and terrified screams, but nowadays it seems that Hollywood has taken the archetypal monster and turned them into something no one could have expected; a hottie. Over the past few years, movies have emerged featuring monsters as the romantic leads, causing hordes of affectionate devotees, onscreen and off, to throw themselves at the creatures, not even caring if they want to suck their blood or if they are decaying. From Edward and Jacob in Twilight, to R the zombie in Warm Bodies, more and more classic monsters are being transformed into the objects of men and women’s dreams. This causes one to wonder which monster might be the next to receive the Hollywood hottie makeover, and cause people everywhere to fall head over heels for a once feared beast. With a little imagination and the endless supply of classic monsters, the possibilities could make for some interesting leading roles.
Frankenstein’s Monster- A sensitive monster spawned from science that just wants to be understood? Sounds like a perfect romantic lead. Ladies everywhere would appreciate his heart melting sensitivity (probably the result of father/creator issues) and his need to find his true identity. Frankenstein’s monster would be the ultimate emo heartthrob, a lover not a fighter who is built like a linebacker but has the heart of a kitten. As his smitten lover, some lucky girl could spend her days helping him adapt to modern society by dragging him along to social events, or forcing him to talk to his father/creator to get over his Daddy issues, or even just spend endless days listening to his profound discussions about the meaning of life and human existence. Frankenstein’s monster is the perfect combination of manliness and sensitivity, making him an ideal choice for the next monster hunk. Just don’t expect a romantic night around a raging fireplace.
The Mummy- This angry royal monster from ancient Egypt would be the ultimate bad boy in monster movie hottie terms. Awoken from his tomb to find an entirely changed world where he is no longer relevant, it would take a bit of time to adjust to his new life. At first people would be frightened of his oddities, like perhaps the fact that he would go to out in public still wrapped in his ancient bandages, but soon he would receive the 21st century makeover and turn into the monster hunk Hollywood knew he could be. With the gross bandages out of the way, the ladies could see the Mummy for his true self, a rogue bad boy who is just a little bit mad at the world – I mean, who wouldn’t be after being locked in a tomb for a few centuries? With a little persuasion though some charming girl would come along and melt that petrified heart, allowing the Mummy to see just how great living in the new world could be. Who knows, maybe he will even invite her over for a sleepover in his sarcophagus.
Sirens- Let’s not forget about the female monsters too! As the ultimate femme fatales from Greek mythology, the sirens were beautiful women who would lure in men with their song, then proceeded to kill them. Of course, all this would be altered with the Hollywood hottie treatment. The siren would be the ultimate bombshell, having men falling all over her at the drop of a hat, but she would have to turn them all down, knowing that if these boys got too close, she would unintentionally kill them. This would be the worst fate when she naturally falls in love one day and must turn away the boy she cares so deeply for without him even knowing why. The siren would be the greatest challenge of all the movie monsters, but no boy could ever resist her charms, even if it meant death. Of course, that cannot happen, so chances are there would be a happy ending for the siren and her chosen victim, I mean, man, if this creature were to be the next monster hottie.
Aliens- While movies such as Starman or, more recently, The Host have touched on the subject of aliens as romantic leads, there is so much more still available to do with the genre of alien love interests. As with most monster lovers, it would be a fish out of water story, but this time with the added element of knowing nothing about humans, and most likely not even looking like one. The alien could have crashed on earth with no way of getting back to his home planet, and now has to fight his way through daily life, all while hiding from the ever curious government. Using clever disguises to move around the city incognito, the alien could survive on his own for a while before running into the most beautiful human girl he has ever seen. All it would take is for this one understanding lady to figure out what he was and get him to reveal his true self; only through that would she fall in love with his irresistible, otherworldly charms. Turmoil in the relationship may occur when government agents, hell-bent on picking at his brain, pursue the alien, but their love would conquer all, and the alien would go down in history as one of the most romantic monsters out there.
While the monster hottie may never live up to the average leading romantic man, they do give the romantic genre an interesting twist that seems to only be growing in popularity. Whether your taste is more vampire or even alien, with the endless possibilities it looks as though monsters as leading lovers will be a permanent addition to the genre. Also, let us admit that it does make a relationship much more interesting when there is the constant threat of your boyfriend sucking your blood.