How to Successfully Flunk a Final Exam

James Eckstein | Contributor

James Eckstein | Contributor

With the end of the semester fast approaching, there will be no shortage of helpful guides or tips popping up everywhere for how to be successful and pass your upcoming final exams. However, being a university level student, you’ve probably heard the same advice countless times before. But what about the opposite end of the spectrum? What if you were actively looking to fail a final exam? Below are the six easiest ways that will stop you from successfully passing your big final.

Start by eating unhealthily. Having a well balanced and nutritious diet is a key part to ensuring your mind will be in top shape to both study and learn. Since we want none of that, we need to lose the idea of a healthy diet. Forget once a week, make everyday your cheat day. Load up on unhealthy snacks, sugary drinks, pizza, or anything that’s bound to make you sick when consumed in large quantities.

Stop sleeping regularly. Another essential to getting the lowest grade possible on your final exam would be to start getting as little sleep possible. You want your body and mind to be totally sleep deprived when you write your final. Eight hours and above is the amount of sleep you want to avoid if you want to score a low grade. It’s important to note that it isn’t just the night before your exam that you should get as little sleep as possible, but also in the weeks leading up to your final.

Start binge-watching more television. There’s no point in limiting the amount of television or streaming you watch during the week. Instead of saving a new show with eight seasons worth of content for winter break, binge it over the course of a week. Time that could potentially be spent studying should be concentrated on finishing as many new shows as humanly possible.

Ignore all available academic resources on campus. UNBC has a variety of different locations available on campus that can help you with difficulties you may be having in your courses. These range from the Academic Success Center, the Mathematical Academic Center of Excellence, or the Nucleus (to name a few). Forget these spots your professors keep telling you about. They are only trying to trick you into getting a better final exam mark.

Make studying and going to class a thing of the past. One of the easiest ways to get an understanding of your course subject would be to simply show up to class, or even rereading the notes you took in class once you get home. Fully attending and participating in all your classes is a terrible idea that should be avoided at all costs if you want to maximize your chance of flunking your final.

Lastly, don’t show up to write your final. If all else fails and you’re still worried about getting a good mark, the simplest step you can take is not attending the final exam. This way you don’t have to worry about accidentally writing down any of the information you may have learned unknowingly sometime throughout the semester.

At the end of the day if you try to follow as many of these tips as possible, you should be well on your way to an atrocious final exam mark. It may seem daunting, but knowing that winter break lies directly after you finish your finals is a great motivator. If for some unknown reason you decide that you want to do well and pass your final exams, you can always take the direct opposite of these steps.