An Ode to Beets

Jade Szymanski | Contributor

(LOVE_LIFE| Getty Images)

A couple of weeks ago, I volunteered with the Good Food Box program, which is run by UNBC’s PGPIRG, and is essentially a box full of local fruits and vegetables for only $15. It definitely gives you a bang for your buck, as the amount of produce you receive is far below the price you would pay at a local supermarket, whose produce is full of chemicals and GMO’s anyway. The taste of these fruits and vegetables are crisp and fresh, as the bites that fill your tastebuds scream ethical consumerism and sustainable living. The next boxes for this semester come out on February 27 and March 20, and can be ordered online at or at a table in the Wintergarden the week before the pickup dates.

However, as we were handing out the boxes, I noticed that many people picking up their boxes weren’t too stoked about the fact that there were beets in their order, as they didn’t know what to do with them. Every new moan and groan was like someone was painfully pulling out my teeth one by one and making my mother watch; not a feeling easily compared to anything except hearing people disrespecting beets. So, to make up for all of the hate that’s been circulating for the past couple decades about the horror that beets are, here’s an ode to beets:


Oh little beet,

Deep roots fill the blood of enemies and feed the hunger of heroes,

With smouldering ferocity, you’ll gasp for air as the intensity narrows;

Sweet cream and earthy crunch brings life to the bland and flavour to the fallen.

Stunned with the experience, re-evaluate why you’ve been so solemn;

Only to realize the absence of this ruby orb has caused you too much grief,

Which echoes through the fields of remorse and the seas of disbelief.


Flipping through texts and verses, the discovery of variety brings new hope,

Sprouting under the winter moon, observations fall under a reflecting telescope.

As dreams of borscht, purees, and salads twirl around your kitchen,

Mother Earth will float down with one request: that you accept Her mission.

The veins of crimson glow through the corpses of those who enter the war

To defeat the onus of contempt carried down from nothing but folklore.


Refusing to stand alone, bear strong friendships with balsamic and honey.

Let citrus and sweet contrast bold tones, or opposingly befriend garlic and rosemary,

Which eludes the mood of complements to the earth, rather than to steal the show.

Dissect the flesh and it’ll offer you its soul; opening up to reveal its marrow.

Roasted beet with feta cheese will engulf you in a trance with ease,

Boiled beet and softened carrot take a light that earns its merit.


Medallions exhibit rings of character, whereas slivers depict a quiet presence.

Boisterous main character or simple supporting actor, you can’t go wrong when it’s in attendance.

Surrender all the loathing, the displeasure, the aversion;

Relinquish your reluctance, your resentment, and repulsion,

For the helpless day will come when you’re haunted in your sleep,

Causing you to scream and shout, “Ode to the beet!”